In observance of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Chief Shawn Cronin and the Dighton Police Department would like to share information about male domestic abuse victims and resources for those who may be experiencing or witnessing abuse.
Every October, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence organizes Domestic Violence Awareness Month in an effort to raise awareness and educate the public. In recognition of this month, the Taunton Police Department will be sharing a series of communications relating to domestic violence with a focus on different communities each week. This week’s focus is domestic violence against male victims.
The following information is courtesy of the Mayo Clinic and HelpGuide.org:
Signs You May Be Experiencing Domestic Violence
You might be experiencing domestic violence if your partner:
- Verbal Abuse: If your partner calls you names, insults you or puts you down. Verbal abuse can also occur if your partner threatens you with violence.
- Isolation and Emotional Abuse: Isolation can occur when your partner tries to stop you from seeing family members and friends, or when your partner prevents you from going to work or school. Isolation can also include when your partner makes false allegations about you to your friends, employer, or the police, or find other ways to manipulate and isolate you. Emotional abuse can include your partner blaming you for his or her violent behavior or telling you that you deserve it.
- Physical Abuse: Physical abuse can occur at all times including when your partner gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs. Physical abuse may include hitting, kicking, shoving, slapping, choking or otherwise hurting you, your children or your pets.
- Sexual Abuse: Sexual abuse can occur when your partner forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will.
- Other Forms of Abuse: Not all abuse falls into a category. Other forms of abuse can include when a partner tries to control you, including how you spend money, where you go or what you wear, whether you can see a health care provider; threatens to leave you and prevent you from seeing your kids if you report the abuse, and more.
Why Men Don’t Leave Abusive Relationships
- You feel ashamed: Many men feel great shame that they’ve been abused, been unable to stand up for themselves, or somehow failed in their role as a male, husband, or father.
- There’s a lack of resources. Many men worry they’ll have difficulty being believed by the authorities, or that their abuse will be minimized because they’re male, or find there are few resources to specifically help abused men.
- You’re in denial. Just as with female domestic violence victims, denying that there is a problem in your relationship will only prolong the abuse. You may still love your partner when they’re not being abusive and believe they will change or that you can help them. But change can only happen once your abuser takes full responsibility for their behavior and seeks professional treatment.
- You want to protect your children. You worry that if you leave, your spouse will harm your children or prevent you from having access to them. Obtaining custody of children is always challenging for fathers, but even if you are confident that you can do so, you may still feel overwhelmed at the prospect of raising them alone.
Protecting Yourself as an Abused Male
- Leave if possible: Be ready to leave quickly should your partner become violent. If you need to stay to protect your children, call emergency services. Police will protect you just as they protect female victims.
- Never retaliate: Sometimes abusive partners may try to provoke retaliation or provoke you into using force to escape. If so, don’t do anything that may put you at risk of being arrested or removed from your home.
- Keep records/evidence of abuse: Ensure all domestic violence injuries are documented. Report all incidents to the police and get a copy of each police report. Keep a journal of all abuse with a clear record of dates, times, and any witnesses. Include a photographic record of your injuries and make sure your doctor or hospital also documents your injuries.
- Have an escape kit ready: Keep a mobile phone, evidence of the abuse, and other important documents close at hand. If you have to leave instantly in order to escape the abuse, you’ll need to take with you evidence of the abuse and important documents, such as a passport and driver’s license.
If you are a victim of domestic violence abuse seek help. For immediate assistance in the Dighton area, contact the Department’s Civilian Police Advocate Stephanie Gendreau at 774-434-1746.
Additional resources for reporting domestic violence against men include:
- In an emergency, call 911.
- For anonymous, confidential help available 24/7, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224. If you’re unable to speak safely, you can chat online, or text LOVEIS to 22522. Additional crisis organizations and helplines can be found by clicking here.
- SafeLink is Massachusetts’ statewide 24/7 toll-free, multilingual hotline and a resource for anyone affected by domestic violence. SafeLink’s 24-hour hotline is available by calling 877-785-2020.
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